and getting over them…
So, yesterday I had a bunch of people.. that doesnt sound right does it?.. bunch.. its like a bunch of grapes… bunch of people.. bunch of grapes.. i can just imagine these little people heads hanging on a grape vine… Anyways. i had some people over to celebrate my 20th.
I had a theme – and i was very suprised that everyone of the 30 or so people dressed up.. with the exception of one or two people.. but they had nice outfits – enough to be saved from the permanent marker “harry potter scar and glasses” costume i planned to provide for such people upon entry.
Anyways. Alcohol. Is a wonderful thing.. sometimes. but i think from last night i have learnt a few thigns about my self and my friend mr alcohol.
I think you have drunk too much when your own mother follows you to the bathroom tells you that you are drunk stop drinking and then asks you to walk in a straight line…
Anyways so i didnt consume THAT much.. But it got me thinking…if i hadnt drunk would i still be slightly upset this morning or not… one will never know.
Thats the next thing i learnt… or finally figured out.. As hard as it is.. i really need to learn not to take everything i hear and overanalyse things … it just isnt worth it when all you get is depression or upsettedness by it…. even worse when you know you were the one that may have caused the situation to go the way it did – but at the time you were doing the right thing.. at least you think you were.
So as of today i have been thinking about my friends… as one does… and whether sometimes it is best to have different friendship groups and keep them separate from each other or let them all mingle with each other…. I guess the nonbitchy thing would be let them mingles… which is what i did….
So i love partys… presents and especially if it is your own because you know all the people there are people you want to spend time with.. and you dont have those “i dont like you but i have to socialise with you occasionaly” types… and for me… having 2 different bunches of friends there.. well 2-3 ish…. meant i got to spend time with them all at once..
I guess its not just at parties but anywhere you go.. there will always be some gossip spread or something interesting u might hear… or part of something…. and me being the nosy parker i am sometimes…. i like to know whats going on…. but sometimes after i find out i wish i never had…..and there are other things where i have the opportunity to find out something by weaving it into a conversation at the appropritae time (which may rarely come).. yet i fail to do that…. i just step back and let it go… then it bugs me from then on and i dont get over it.
That is another goal for this year… not to step back and let things go by and then wondering why i did or didnt say something ….. and to get over things better rather than keep thinking bout it – i mean ultimately all it does is make it worse.
Now that i think about it however…. I realised that i think i am finally over someone that i kept thinking about for probably over a year or so now…. its only taken that long but at least i THINK im over it.
Unfortunately the way i got over that was thinking about someone else… who i still have to get over… and i tried getting over that by thinking of two other people – BIG MISTAKE… and i half got over that because i had the issue that i didnt want to end up feeling like shit if i found out sometihng about one of them i was unsure of ……. which im still not so sure about… but i did the “go for the other one cos at least it wont be as bad in the end” type thing… which didnt really work to plan… it kinda made me like them even more….. and yeah…. so now im crapping… and then within the last week or so no end of last yr .. ish i started talking to a friend i hadnt spoken to for about a year…. because things kinda wient dif ways after i screwed it up – all cos i found out something about them from someone else….. but now things seem to be back on track as friends anyways which is good or was till a while ago…. where i dunno i just started going back in time… BLAH BLAH BLAH.
So anyways… from all of that i guess my summary is that i screwed things up once because i found out something about someone from someone else… not from them personally…. and im so afraid that will happen again … yet this time someone else telling the person i like them – which i cant let happen…. makes it harder that i doubt ill ever tell that person…. just let it die off after a year or 2 yrs like the last one……. or whatever….. which made me realise i gotta grow up.. build a bridge and get over a lot of stuff.. stop overanalysing stuff and get on with my life…
And now that ive crapped on for about 1000 words or so… i probably should start thinking about work etc…
Oh and i just got reminded by geoff… my sister is now friends with a friend on fb… and she had to leave a wall post with the ” and trudy dearest this begins the lovely world of e-stalking” or something like that.
Most people would be like haha funny whatever.. get on with their life type thing.. but for me its dif… my sis and i decided we woudnt befriend each other on fb… so there were no drunk photos to be tattled on… and no gossip about stuff being spread…. and now my friend is friends with her… its kinda im not sure if its a good thing or not….. atm i feel like it will be a “choose me or my sister” thing … even though my sister isntfriends with me….. she can still see the stuff that goes on in my life….. i might talk to her about that… maybe if we are friends… things will just be fine.. i wont have to worry etc. wow 1000 or more words of pure crap and babble.. gosh trudy.. u need to get a life and get over things… and also learn how to blog properly and make ur blog look purtyful.
